The Girl Next Door

The other night I was out with my friend M who said she thought of me as a "girl next door" type. I must say, I was surprised by that comment. I more often get the whole "exotic" thing, and every now and then "creative" -- or, as a dude in a bar recently told me "You look like a medieval artist" -- whatever the hell that means. Anyway, I've always thought of my sweet lovely roommate as a better example of the girl next door. I pointed that out to M. She agreed, but then declared, "Ok, you're like the Playboy girl next door!" Now there's a compliment.

But you know what? When I started to think about it, I've been compared to quite a few celeb/pseudo-celeb "girls next door" over the years. One interesting/mysterious example is Elisabeth Shue. You know, from KARATE KID and ADVENTURES IN BABYSITTING? I know what you're thinking -- we look nothing alike. I completely agree. But, *three* ex-boyfriends told me I reminded them of her. Apparently it's my voice. Weird, right? Here's Elisabeth in GND-mode, and then again in PGND-mode. [GND=Girl Next Door; PGND=Playboy Girl Next Door]





In high school, this boy I liked told me I reminded him of Six from the TV show "Blossom". I guess I should've been offended, but at the time I thought Jenna Von Oy was cute (way cuter than Mayim Bialik, hello!) and loved her outfits. Once again, the comparison was mostly due to a vocal reason -- I used to be quite the chatterbox when I was younger. Unlike today of course. Ha. But you gotta check out Jenna then and now. Yowza!






Remember that show "Boy Meets World"? Remember Ben Savage's girlfriend Topanga? Yeah, I used to get her too. What the hell happened to Danielle Fishel anyway? I'm pretty sure she got fat, but I did find a somewhat recent bondage-style shot of her. Whoa.






And then there were all those "That '70s Show" girl comparisons to Mila Kunis. Long dark hair. Check! Carefully manicured eyebrows. Check! Dating Macauley Culkin...no check. Anyway, I can see the similiarity to Jackie. She's a Ruskie, too. (I'm like 1/2 Russian.)Oh yeah, she also starred in the straight-to-video classic AMERICAN PSYCHO 2: ALL AMERICAN GIRL where she seduces William Shatner! Hot hot hot.





Finally, we're gonna take it way back to the actual 1970s with the girl next door from "One Day at a Time." No, not that bad apple Mackenzie Phillips. I'm talking about sweet younger daughter Barbara Cooper. When Valerie Bertinelli married Eddie Van Halen back in '81, she blew her good girl cover. Too bad she never starred in any of their videos a la Whitesnake's David Coverdale & Tawny Kitean. I'm sad to say that Valerie & Van Halen have since divorced, but must also tell you that my mom's boyfriend thinks *my mom* looks like Valerie Bertinelli now. It all makes sense right?










So you see, it's like a rite of passage to be a girl-next-door-turned-bad, or not really bad, but you know, turned Playboy Centerfold. Even if they are only on the cover of Stuff Magazine like Ms. Kunis, or in a King Magazine photo spread like Ms. Von Oy. And let us not forget Ms. Shue's Oscar nomination for playing a hooker (with a heart of gold, obviously) in LEAVING LAS VEGAS. Don't worry Topanga, there's hope for you yet!