Sushi Eyes

OPEN ON: MIKO AND SUKI FEED EACH
OTHER TAKE OUT SUSHI.



THEIR CAT AYUMI GLARES AT THEM.




MIKO & SUKI
(Sung to the tune of "Private Eyes" by Hall & Oates)
Sushi Eyes
Are Watching Food
Thinking You’re Very Rude
Sushi Eyes
They’re Watching Food
Sushi Eyes
Coveting Tama-Iku, Unakyu, Futomatsu



AYUMI
Science Diet? Ain’t gonna try it.
Fancy Feast? More like wildebeest.
Purina? Might as well send me to
Bosnia or Herzegovina.



ANNOUNCER
Is your cat grumpy? Does he prefer
Unagi to Eukanuba? Who can blame him?
Grade A tuna just tastes better.



AYUMI CATNAPS IN HIS BASKET. DREAM
SEQUENCE: MIKO AND SUKI HEAP PIECES
OF TUNA TATAKI, SABA SASHIMI, UNAGI-MAKI
AND MORE INTO HIS BOWL. AYUMI DEVOURS IT.
MIKO AND SUKI REJOICE AND MAKE OUT.



ANNOUNCER
Introducing Sushi Eyes
Raw Cat Food Regimen, the
feline culinary sensation
that's sweeping the nation.



AYUMI
(awakes from his reverie)
Dry cat food is a fucking joke.
Can you really blame us for ignoring you
and licking our assholes instead?
We deserve more. President Bush doesn’t
care about cats. Socks in ’08!



MIKO, SUKI & AYUMI
(in unison)
Sushi Eyes Raw Cat Food
Thank God for You!



ANNOUNCER
(very speedy)
Do not be alarmed if your cat vomits
after eating Sushi Eyes. He will lick that right up.
It goes down smoother the second time ‘round.
Sushi Eyes is available at Whole Foods, Trader Joes,
and a Petco near you!